Real Talk on Retirement: What We Heard, What We Learned
Like many people, I try to set aside time at the end of the year to reflect—on what went well, what could have gone better, and what I’ve learned along the way. One event that stood out as I looked back on the past year was the evening we hosted in October at Melhorn Manor: Real Talk on Retirement – A Conversation with Those Who’ve Done It. It was not a seminar about how to claim Social Security or how much you need to save (though those things matter), but rather something different—something I think has been missing from the retirement conversation for too long: honest reflection from people who’ve actually made the transition.
We invited several clients—people who are in retirement now and living through the transition—to sit on a panel and share their stories. We also invited those approaching retirement to listen, ask questions, and hopefully walk away with greater clarity and peace of mind about what lies ahead.
I had the privilege of moderating the panel and opening the evening with a short presentation. Here are some of the key insights that surfaced—both from the data we shared and the lived experience of our panelists.
Retirement Has Changed (But Many of Our Tools Haven’t)
We started with a brief look back. Retirement, at least as a formal concept, is just over 100 years old. While the first pension system is widely credited to German Chancellor Otto Van Bismarck in 1889, here in the US we passed the Social Security Act in the 1930s. While these systems were created nearly 40 years apart, they had one thing in common. They were built for a world in which people stopped working usually to physical limitations…and then did not live much longer. When the German system was created you could collect starting at age 70, but the average life expectancy was 39 (according to statista.com). The US was a little more generous in that the average life expectancy was 63, and you could start collecting at 62 when Social Security was first introduced.
Fast forward to today: over 50% of women and over 40% of men in their 60s are expected to live into their 90s. That means retirement might last 30 years or more. It’s no longer a short chapter—it’s a third of your life. And yet, so many of the retirement planning tools and mindsets we use are based on an outdated version of retirement: retire in your 60’s, slow down, and fade into the background. That doesn’t resonate with most of the people we serve or our panelists that evening.
A Common Thread: Purpose, Not Just a Paycheck
One of the biggest takeaways from the evening was how different everyone’s retirement looked—and yet how consistent some of the underlying themes were. As financial planners, we emphasize the importance of having something to retire to, not just something to retire from and this sentiment was reinforced by all our panelists. For many people, including our panelists, financial independence was a big driver in their decision to leave long careers. The ability to choose what, when or how to work based around their passions, instead of work focused on bringing in a paycheck. All of them, in one way or another, talked about the need to feel useful, connected, and engaged.
The data supports this idea as well. A 2022 study from the Stanford Center on Longevity found that more retirees are choosing to keep working for positive reasons: they enjoy the structure, social interaction, and sense of contribution. Retirement is no longer about escaping work—it’s about redefining what meaningful work looks like.
Retirement Looks Different for Everyone
Another consistent message across every panelist’s story was this: there’s no one “right” way to retire. Some of the panelists retired “early”, while others stayed in their careers longer but cut back their hours because they loved what they were doing. A few made career pivots. Others found joy in more unstructured days, spending time with grandkids, volunteering, or simply enjoying the slower pace.
From an advisor’s perspective, one trap I’ve seen is just how easy it is to slip into comparison. Stepping away from a career doesn’t make anyone immune to the “keeping up with the Joneses” mindset. Mimetic desire—the tendency to want something simply because others seem to want it—can quietly shape our vision for retirement, and social media does not help. Retirement should reflect your values and priorities, not someone else’s highlight reel.
Planning Isn’t Just About the Money
As a financial planner, I understand the importance of “numbers” in retirement, but I’ll be the first to say that it’s not just about whether the math works. The emotional side—the shift in identity, the change in daily structure, the question of how you’ll spend your time—is equally important. That’s why our planning process includes both the financial side and the personal side. Yes, we run projections, but we also ask questions like, “What does a fulfilling retirement look like for you?” The clearer you are about the life you want to build, the better we can design a financial plan that supports it.
A Resource to Help You Go Deeper
At the end of the event, we handed out a workbook titled No Rules Retirement. It’s filled with helpful articles, thoughtful prompts, and exercises designed to help you reflect on your personal vision for retirement. Whether you’re just starting to plan or already a few steps in, it’s a great tool to clarify your direction and start meaningful conversations—either with a spouse, your advisor, or both. We have a few extra copies available so if you could not attend the event and would like one for yourself, just reach out, we’d be happy to share one with you.
Final Thoughts
Hosting this event was a reminder of why we do what we do at Stewardship Advisors. Retirement is a big transition. It’s also a tremendous opportunity—a chance to shape a life that reflects your values, priorities, and purpose.
To those of you who attended: thank you for being part of the conversation. And to our panelists: thank you for your honesty, wisdom, and generosity in sharing your stories.
If you’re nearing retirement and wondering what it might look like for you, let’s talk. Because retirement planning is about more than having enough, it’s about building something meaningful.
Schedule an introductory phone call with Mark at this link: Stewardship Advisors – Introductory Phone Call
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