I’ve Been Promoted to Grandparent: Intentionally Engaging in Grandchildren’s Lives
In my last post, we explored how to build a legacy that outlives our wealth. We looked at how true generational richness is built not on the dollars we leave to our families, but on the values, Christian principles, and habits of stewardship we leave in them.
Since the last post, our world has changed for the better, as my wife and I have been promoted to grandparents. I have heard from many clients over the years that if they had realized how awesome grandparenting was, they may have considered skipping having children to having grandchildren. The reality though is that going through parenting makes us even better grandparents, if for no other reason than we’ve now experienced more life experiences and learned lessons through some mistakes providing us another opportunity in supporting our children in raising our grandchildren. Grandparenting carries privilege, honor, and so much joy, but also a massive responsibility. This responsibility feels incredibly vivid right now, since we’ve welcomed our very first grandchild into the world, what an absolute blessing.
As I hold this sweet baby, I am acutely aware of the baton being passed. I am reminded that while parents manage the hectic, day-to-day chaos of a household, we as grandparents have a unique promotion. We have the time, perspective, life experiences, and authority to intentionally partner with our children to help mold the next generation.
As a financial advisor, I am used to looking at data to understand long-term strategies. When it comes to family successes, the data is just as clear. Researchers, psychologists, and neuroscientists have spent decades mapping out the exact impact we have on our lineage. It turns out that a grandparent’s involvement isn’t just a nice family dynamic, it is a powerful catalyst for a child’s development.
According to a recent podcast that I heard from Dr. Mehmet Oz, grandparents act as a secret weapon for a child’s success and emotional well-being, so part of this content should be credited to him. When we actively step into our grandchildren’s world, we bring three powerful, positive forces to their lives.
1. Stress Reducer
The modern world is faster, louder, and more stressful than ever before. We too often find ourselves tethered to cell phones, tablets, and electronic devices for hours each day. This digital saturation can breed significant anxiety, especially among our young people.
Grandparents offer a powerful antidote: unconditional love with fewer of the daily household rules that parents must enforce. When we speak words of affirmation to our grandchildren, we create a safe harbor.
In fact, long-term psychological studies show that children who grow up with a close, regular relationship with grandparents are 30% less likely to experience depression, as young adults; it doesn’t eliminate the risk but can significantly reduce it. Our presence acts as an emotional shield, giving them a firmer foundation of confidence that screens can never provide.
2. Support Brain Development and Creativity
Research shows that interacting, talking, and reading repeatedly with grandparents drastically enhances a child’s language skills and vocabulary development. We have the luxury of patience. We can read the same book five times, tell stories of our own youth, and explain how the world works. We can offer a wealth of life experiences that grandchildren can glean, gathered from time together, and ultimately providing an expansion of creativity and wisdom.
This isn’t just sentimental; it is biological. Brain scan studies on grandparents show that our brains are neurologically wired to deeply mirror and feel the emotions of our grandchildren. This intense, empathetic connection allows us to provide a level of patient, stress-lowering support that fast-tracks their early language acquisition and mental focus.
3. Improve the Likelihood of Positive Behaviors
A strong bond with an older relative gives children a deep sense of identity and ancestral connection. When children know where they come from and who loves them, they develop a stronger moral compass. As a child myself, my mother often said to me as I was leaving the house, “remember who you are”; this is a direct reminder that we represent the family and are children of God, even when we’re away from home.
Data from the AARP shows that nearly 80% of grandparents make it a priority to regularly discuss family values and morals with their grandchildren. When they hit the difficult teenage years, this foundational bond guides their decision-making and helps protect them from risky behaviors.
Our Family Mission
Knowing the profound impact we can make begs a vital question: You will leave a legacy, but what legacy do you want to intentionally leave?
As I take on the role of patriarch for our family and add the title of “Pappy”, I do not want our legacy to be an accident left to chance. I want it to be a deliberate roadmap. To ensure we are pouring the right foundations into this next generation, my wife and I created our own family mission statement several years ago, this has loosely served as a roadmap for our children. Now, it serves as a guide of lessons we intend to speak into our grandchildren.
We strive to be respectful, tolerant of our differences, encouraging of one another, and supportive of activities and friends. In a world that is quick to criticize, we want our grandchildren to hear words of profound encouragement from us. Families that encourage one another stay together.
We appreciate the time spent with family, and the ability to provide service to others in our community. True abundance is found in generosity. We want to model what it means to look outward and serve those in need and intentionally spend time with family. Families that vacation together stay together. Families that eat together stay together. Families that serve together stay together.
We value Christian beliefs through prayer and devotions, education with high expectations, hard work, and a healthy and active lifestyle. This is the bedrock. By weaving faith, diligent study, and physical health together, we give our grandchildren a framework for a purposeful, independent life. Families that pray and play together stay together.
Turning Legacy into Action: Modeling an Active Life
Living out that final pillar of a healthy and active lifestyle is especially critical today. Right now, adolescent obesity has more than tripled over the past 30 years, largely driven by tech-induced inaction. As grandparents, we can partner with our adult children to turn our mission statement into daily habits:
Learn to Play and simultaneously share Quality Time: Don’t just grandparent from the sidelines. Take them to the park, the playground, or the backyard. Scamper, slide, and chase them. As they age, find ways to engage in the things they have expressed interest in, it could be camping, fishing, hiking, golfing, swimming, etc. Find ways to stay active, for your grandchildren, but also for us.
Interestingly, the data shows this relationship is a two-way blessing. Grandparents who actively engage with their grandkids score significantly higher on memory and cognitive tests as they age. Loving them, teaching them and playing with them literally keeps our own minds sharper and bodies nimbler; sounds like a win-win for our grandchildren and grandparents; blessings upon blessings. Our words and our time are the greatest investments we can make. By being intentional today, we can give this new generation the tools to build their own successes, practice radical generosity, and carry a lasting legacy far beyond ourselves.
We at Stewardship Advisors are here and happy to help serve you, so you may serve the loved ones in your lives and provide the legacy you envision.
Schedule an introductory phone call with Jay at this link: Jay Kready – Introductory Phone Call
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